One of my favorite things about parenthood is watching my kid evolve and turn into a bona fide little person capable of reason, emotion, curiosity, empathy, humor, and desire. And now I get to add one more word to that laundry list of traits: guile.
Sam has become quite the sly little fox in the last couple of weeks. Ger told me about an episode where Sam wanted to go upstairs (“oopah gate!” means “open the gate blocking the stairs!” by the way) but Ger was busy with something at the moment. After giving it some thought, Sam came over to Ger and said “Pee-pee!” which is what we’re trying to teach her to tell us when she needs to use the bathroom. Deciding that this was a much more dire request, Ger dropped what she was doing and took Sam upstairs to her bathroom. Only once she crested the stairs, Sam ran right past the bathroom, heading instead to her bedroom where she could retrieve a stack of books. These she gave to Ger so she could read them, which had been her aim all along. Pee-pee indeed. Pee-pee like a fox.
Thing is, we’ve kind of caught on to this kind of duplicity now, but Sam hasn’t caught on to the fact that we’ve caught on. Coupled with her growing rebelliousness and rapidly escalating language skills, this leads to some interesting conversations like this one:
“Hi, Sammy, what are you –AHH! OW! That hurt! Am I bleeding? Sammy, take a time out!”
“No!”
“Yes! Go, go stand against the wall and take a time out.”
“Pee-Pee! Poo-Poo!”
“Ha. Nice try. If you need to go, you can go after your time out.”
“Ree?”
“I’ll read to you after your time out. Stand against the wall.”
“No-no-no!”
“Yes, Samantha. Take your time out.”
“Gook?”
“Grapes? Why do you want grapes?”
“Gook, pees?”
“That’s very nice, but no, not even if you say please.”
“Doo.”
“No blankets during time out. Stand against the wall.”
“La-la pop!”
“You’ve got to be kidding. No. Take your time out, Samantha.”
“Pee-pee!”
We went on like this for quite some time. The attitude I’ve taken, though, is that I’ve got more patience than she does, and the only way to win these battles it to outlast her. Sometimes I pack a sack lunch and a sleeping bag, because while eventually effective, this tactic can take a while.
Here’s some pictures. Sam often wears a kind of a bland expression in front of the camera, but this week I seem to catch her being more expressive for some reason.
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I’m not the only one who has fun conversations with Sam, though. Here’s one that took place between Sam and Ger:
“Sammy, what should we have for dinner?”
“Cake!”
“Haha! Funny, but seriously –what do you want for dinner?”
“Eet eet cake! Eet eet cake!”
That’s what my daughter is doing with the gift of language. Trying to weasel out of punishment and get treats when she doesn’t deserve them. She’ll make a marvelous Senator some day.
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