A failure to communicate

“Hi! Thanks for calling Gold’s Gym! How can I change your life today?”

“Actually, I just wanted some information on membership rates.”

“Awesome! Have you ever worked out before?”


“Awesome! Are you a member here?”

“Huh? No, I’m thinking of joining and I want to get information on membership rates. I just moved to town.”

“Awesome! Where from?”

“California. San Diego.”

“Awesome! How do you like it here? Why did you move? What’s your name?”

“Uh, sorry, look, I’m not really trying to make special friends right now. How about those membership rates?”

“Oh, I can’t help with that. I just answer the phones.”

“You’re doing a heck of a job. Is there someone there I can talk to about membership rates?”

“You bet! Want me to transfer you?”

“Yes. Please.”


“Thanks for holding, can I help you?”

“Hi, I wanted to get information on membership rates?”

“Awesome! Have you ever worked out before?”

“Are you the same guy?”

“What guy?”

“The same guy I was just talking to.”

“The guy that answers the phones?”


“No. He’s sitting here right next to me, though. You want to talk to him?”

“Look, I just want to get information on membership rates.”

“Why don’t you come down to the club, work out for a while, and see how you like it?”

“I know what the inside of a gym looks like. I just don’t know how much yours costs. THAT is the problem I’m trying to remedy here. Can you just tell me your membership rates?”

“Well, we don’t give them out over the phone.”

“Because you think someone may be listening?”

“Because they’re kind of complicated. It’s easier to go over if you’re here.”

“Can we just pretend that I’m sitting across the desk from you right now? I do know which end of this phone to put up to my ear.”

“No, we don’t really do that.”


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4 thoughts on “A failure to communicate

  1. You will get a lot of exercise running away from that place! If you went in, the next thing you would know is that they have you signed to a lifetime contract and they will have placed a lien on Sam.

  2. Yeah, when they refused to talk to me over the phone I concluded that they were running a scam and that I didn’t want anything to do with it. The conversation actually went on for another couple of lines where I said “If you can’t give me any information over the phone, I’m going to join somewhere else” and he just said “Oh. Okay.” Pretty much hung up after that.

  3. There’s 2 Google ads running here right now offering free membership to Gold’s 😉

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