I’ve been some research, and I’ve come up with some disturbing suspicions about Sam. I think she’s a zombie.
The other day I was sitting on the floor playing with her when she suddenly turned to me, spread her arms, and stumbled towards me and into my arms. I was delighted, thinking I was getting an enthusiastic hug until I felt her little teeth actually bite into my shoulder. I mean, all the signs are there. Stumbling gait with arms held parallel to the floor? Check. Propensity for biting people? Check. Vacant gaze? Check. Repetitive moaning and piercing shrieks? Check and check. She’s a zombie, man. A zombie. Still, I think we should be all right as long as she doesn’t bite any of us. Much.
As I think I mentioned last week, our undead baby’s newest trick is climbing. She’s crazy for the climbing now, and will entertain herself for huge chunks of time getting up on and off of the couch. Here’s a typical session, step-by-step:
Step 1: Struggling to climb, 1-3 minutes.
Step 2: Success and rest, 3-4 seconds.
Step 3: Jump off and repeat, 2 seconds.
In addition, she’s taken to bringing things up on the couch with her just so she can throw them off. Good times.
I especially like this one and this one where Sam is looking through one of the absolutely awesome scrapbooks that Geralyn has created. It’s funny to see the differences between the Sam in the picture and the Sam in the pictures of pictures.
The other fun thing I’ve done this week is set up Sam’s first e-mail account. Google is giving out free accounts to beta test their Gmail service, which I’m sure will be around for a while. Given this I decided to reserve Samantha a logical, free e-mail address so that she could use it when she’s old enough (which should be in a few weeks, given what I’ve seen of kids these days). At any rate, she now has samantha.madigan “at” gmail.com set up for her, and Geralyn and I have even already sent her her first two pieces of e-mail. Below is what I wrote to her:
It’s June 14th, 2005 and you’re receiving your very first e-mail! However, you’re only 16 months old right now and you don’t speak English, much less read it, so it’ll be a while before you can understand this. And by then monkeys may have risen up to enslave the human race and put us to work in their banana mines. And I for one welcome our new simian overlords.
Regardless, I went ahead and created this gmail account for you so that you could have one with a logical e-mail address. Because by the time you’re old enough to set one up for yourself the closest
you’d probably be able to get would be email@example.com or somesuch. It may be a moot point anyway, as in the future we’ll probably just jam plugs into our nural shunts and access the Internet directly from our brains. But you have to admit, it was a nice thought. Come visit your father in the old folk’s home and say “thanks,” unless you have my brain preserved in a jar then just tap the side of the glass and sprinkle in some food flakes.
I’m going to ask your mother, your grandparents, and your aunt to send you e-mails as well, probably once a year or so. I’ll make sure to send you one every few months, though most of what I’ve got to say for you is chronicled on http://www.jmadigan.net. Still, it’s nice to get letters.
Whatever you’ve done by the time you read this, I’m sure I’ll be proud of you and love you just as much as I do now. More, even.
See you in the banana mines,
My daughter is going to think I’m either totally cool or a total dork. Possibly both.
At any rate, if you’re a Sam fan and want to send her an e-mail, feel free to do so by sending it to samantha.madigan “at” gmail.com. Replace the “at” with @ –I’m just being sneaky to try and fool the spammers.