33 things I remember about SIOP in Chicago

  1. That the auto checkin kiosks at the airport hate me with a personal intensity.
  2. Enjoying the 4-hour plane ride because it gave me a chance to read for 4 hours straight.
  3. The shuttle service at the airport being run by the most incompetent, scatterbrained, and socially retarded unprofessionals I’ve ever seen.
  4. $32 for chicken picata? Are you kidding me?
  5. Briefly considering walking to the AMC movie theater across from the hotel, just for a chance for this new parent to see a movie on the big screen.
  6. Realizing that I had forgotten to pack my toothbrush, that the gift shop was already closed, and that I’d have to just smear toothpaste across my teeth with my finger until the morning.
  7. Seeing Navy Pier from my hotel window and remembering that I still have the beer glasses from the time SO long ago that I got drunk there with college friends.
  8. Being gently mocked by some Indian guy for not including effect sizes in our practitioner forum presentation.
  9. Being deathly afraid that I was going to drop the overhead slides for said presentation, sending them to the four corners of the room and, in the process, spontaneously creating spelling errors on every other slide.
  10. $14.50 for two beers? Are you kidding me?
  11. That I don’t remember anything about Item Response Theory.
  12. But at the same time, being able to completely follow a pretty sophisticated factor analysis research report.
  13. Being wined and dined –literally– Friday night by one of our vendors, complete with a stretch limo, awesome Italian food at a trendy joint, and lots of wine.
  14. That the moderately attractive woman sitting next to me at that dinner became totally hot when she said “creme brule” in a thick Australian accent.
  15. Realizing, with some indignation, that not everyone wanted to see pictures of my new baby.
  16. $5 for a diet coke? Are you kidding me?
  17. Realizing that there are a lot of people who are smarter than me and who have done a lot more with their lives.
  18. And realizing that there are a lot of people who aren’t and who haven’t.
  19. Some guy standing up in a crowd and telling the editors of the most prestigious scientific journals in I/O Psychology that they had a worse grasp on research methods than his undergraduate students.
  20. This quote: “When it comes to modesty, Americans are NUMBER ONE. Always have been, always will be.”
  21. Getting a call from my sister during a symposium and learning that my dad had to be taken to the hospital (he’s doing fine, by the way).
  22. Geralyn’s putting the phone up to Sam’s butt so i could hear my daughter fart from half a continent away.
  23. Noting that venerable, distinguished I/O psychologists who are being honored for a lifetime of achievement get boogers, too.
  24. No longer having to explain that “No, I don’t make video games.”
  25. Being introduced to one UMSL grad student by another as “Someone who actually finished the program.”
  26. A distinguished, elderly I/O psychologists mocking the Emotional Intelligence fad: “They describe Emotional Intelligence as the intelligent use of emotions at work. Where has this guy been for 35 years? What has he been learning? Where has he been taught? I don’t know…”
  27. Seeing my brother-in-law’s new book for sale in the exhibitor hall and quipping “Finally, someone else in the family has written a book.”
  28. Buying two new books (this one and this one), despite still not having read the two I bought at last year’s conference.
  29. Sitting through a presentation and thinking with moderate annoyance that my rejected paper was better than this.
  30. $18 just to park our rental car? Are you kidding me?
  31. Eating tapas and drinking sangria at a Spanish restaurant with the Sempra folks and a couple of Penn-Staters
  32. How the lady in front of me on the plane ride home leaned her chair all the way back so I could barely open my laptop to write this.
  33. How glad I was to see Samantha and Geralyn when I got home.

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4 thoughts on “33 things I remember about SIOP in Chicago

  1. Well I am glad that hearing Dad was in the hospital rated higher than hearing Sam fart!:)

  2. I just had to say that I loved the list. My trip home was worst. Michelle left my digital camera at O’Hare and we missed our connecting flight in Dallas.

  3. There was a LOT of kidding going on at this conference. I guess you psych guys have well developed senses of humor. (By contrast the last conference I went to I kept asking, “Are you serious?!?” I guess game developers really are no fun!)

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