Debate

I watched the California gubernatorial debates last night, and let me tell you: There has yet to be an hour and a half of better comedy than this. If featured the comedy troupe Schwarzenegger, McClintock, Camejo, Huffington, and Bustamante. Here’s how a typical question went:

Ordinary Citizen: Hi, my name is Bob. Can you tell me how you’ll protect the interests of municipalities and local governments if you’re elected Govenor?
Schwarzenegger: Children are good. I want to help ze children.
Huffington: That is an excellent question. What we need to realize is that George W. Bush is the devil. Also, Arnold, you are a poo-poo head.
Schwarzenegger (shouting over Huffington): I will crush you! Crush you and make you lament before me at my feet, lamenting!
Bustamante: You’re all idiots.
Huffington: Excuse me, I was answering Bob’s question about George W. Bush here. Excuse me!
Moderator [taking a slug off a hip flask]: Candidates. Candidates. Please. Please? [cries]
McClintock [staring off into space]: Well, I think we should melt down illegal immigrants and use them to feed the children.
Schwarzenegger: I agree with Tom. We must do it for the children and ze puppies. Kindergarden Cop II opens Friday.
Bustamante: Moron.
Camejo: We must tax the rich and build our glorious worker society atop a foundation of thier bones. Vote for me, comra… ah, friends.
And so on.

I exaggerate for the sake of comedy, but that’s not really too far off the mark. Schwarzenegger and Huffington made complete dolts out of themselves. Huffington was combative and just plain mean. Schwarzenegger was rude and smug. Neither really gave answers of any substance to any of the questions. Bustamante started off composed and gave informative answers, but eventually spiraled down into being smarmy and condescending (mostly on account of trolling from Arnold and Ariana).
The only two who really retained much dignity were Camejo and McClintock. But the former was really a space cadet in terms of his ideals, and the latter was …well, he was a mainstream Republican and not all that engaging.
Going in to the debate, I knew that Arnold was unqualified, but I didn’t realize he was such an ass. I was actually giving serious thought to voting for Huffington, but her behavior in the debate proved that she’s a total lunatic who’s unlikely to establish any kind of working relationships with others in government or business. If you take away her spite, there’s just not much left.
So I’m left with Bustamante, McClintock, or Camejo. I won’t vote Republican, so McClintock is probably out. I don’t want to re-elect the Davis administration, so Bustamante isn’t that attractive a candidate. I actually find myself agreeing with Green Party candidate Pete Camejo –he was smart, articulate, polite, on-message, and passionate. However, I don’t think he has much chance of winning, and I’m afraid that if he got too many votes he’d split things so that Arnold wins (ow, ow, brain hemorages starting just at the thought…).
So I don’t know. I want to vote for Camejo, but I’m just not sure how things will turn out. Oh, and in the interest of equal access, the GameShow Network is sponsoring a “debate” with the dregs of the recall ballot. I’ll bet you, though, that it won’t be nearly as funny as the antics of the legitimate candidates.